GINGER L: Hello, this is Ginger L from the CA World Service Archive Committee and I am here with Steve A on September 23rd, 2023. Do I have your permission to record this interview for the posterity of Cooking Anonymous?
STEVE A: Yes.
GINGER L: Excellent. Thank you. So what name do you go by? Steve. Okay and what is your sobriety date?
STEVE A: March 10th, 1989. What drugs did you use? All of them. But primarily alcohol, cocaine, speed, marijuana, hashish, had some heroin, had some peyote, had a little LSD, had some pharmaceuticals that I had to carry around a PDR (Physicians’ Desk Reference) to know what’s going to happen.
GINGER L: And how were you first introduced to CA?
STEVE A: So I’m preparing to rob a convenience store on Thomas and 28th Street at 2.30 in the morning and I need money for more dope. So I go to the payphone—they’re the things you put quarters in. And as I’m stand at the payphone I look across street and there’s five police officers parked across street. And I said, well I don’t think I better do it right now. So I took the phone book up, they had phone books on them and I open it up and it opened up to the seas and I look and here’s Cocaine Anonymous. So I dial the number and this man by name of Paul answered. And Preacher Paul listened to me tirade with him about all the shit that’s wrong in the world for about two hours. And I even explained to him how Cocaine Anonymous could be fixed. And he told me at the end of the call, maybe you ought to come help us Steve. And I said well I can’t do it right now. He says but we’re gonna have a meeting on Sunday morning up on the mountain on Squaw Peak. I said that’s just a bunch of picnic tables up there. And he says yeah and we have a bunch of people that get together on Sunday morning and they have a meeting. I said okay well maybe when its time. Probably a month, a month and a half later, I went up to that meeting and it was at a Ramada on the side away from the mountain and there were 15 to 18 people are up there. And to get there I had to park down here and have to go a whole bunch of steps. And I get up there and one other person that’s there is a young man that used to go to school with my son and they used to see all my dope. And he came over, we talked and he wanted to know why I was there. So he was giving the chips away. And he says anybody want a newcomer chip and I just sat there. And he says, Steve don’t you want a new cover chip? Okay. So I went up and he handed me the chip. He said now tell everybody who we are. I said well my name is Steve A. He says so why are you here? A couple other people are gone up before me and admitted that they were addicts. I said well I’m an addict. And it tore me up because I’m 46 years old and it is the first time I can ever remember being honest. I went away from that meeting. I went out and got loaded. I just couldn’t stand the pain. So that’s my first meeting.
GINGER L: What C.A. meetings did you go to regularly?
STEVE A: Well a friend of mine had about 60 days sober. And I said so how do you get 60 days? Because I couldn’t get two days. He says what I’m doing 90 and 90. I said what’s that? I said 90 meetings in 90 days. So okay. So the next day after that meeting on the mountain, I went to another meeting. I listened to a lot of war stories because Cocaine Anonymous was really big about that back then. And I went out and got loaded again. And the next day I got up and I went to work because I’m not going to do this again. And at the end of my work day I went to an A.A. meeting. So I went to the bar instead. And I did that for 30 days. I went to a meeting every day. Drunk, going to get drunk, loaded, going to get loaded—ten to thirty days.
They said anyone got 30 days? I raised my hand. And I went down and I got a 30 in keychain. I did another 30 days. It was the same routine. I’d go to the meetings. I sit in the back. I wouldn’t listen. My wife asked me what we were doing. And I was so full of lies. I came home one time. I said well I didn’t have the money for a big book. So I bought a little book. But the little book was 12 and 12. So I had a 12 and 12 before I had a big book. But they had a 60 days (chip) where I went out and I got loaded every night. Who’s got 60 days? And I raised my hand. And I went I got my 60 day chip for attending these meetings every day. That’s what I was thinking. So I got done with that. I went out another 30 days and at 90 days I’m back up on the mountain. The same kids are giving away the chips. Anyone got 90 days? I went up and got my chip. I had cocaine my moustache and there was blood running down my arm. I was so swacked. And he gave me the keychain and he hugged me and he said, Steve, when you get honest I’ll give you a 10 year chip.
So that’s kind of what I did. We had such great names for meetings back then. The meeting on the mountain was “Way Off Base.” Monday night we had “Monday Night Alternative” and the “Razor’s Edge.” Tuesdays we had “Coke Busters.” Wednesday we had the “Asbury Meeting.” Thursday we had the “Men’s Group” and it was at the Asbury church. Friday we had “Torchlight,” but we also had “Last Straw” at Camelback Hospital. And the first meeting that was in the valley was on Monday night in Scottsdale—“Classic Coke.” We had “Saturday Night Alternative and then we had SNL. And Sunday we had “Diet Coke.” After SNL, out by Pinnacle Peak, they had a pig roasting meeting and we go there and have a little barbecue and fellowshipping.
And I went to them all. CA was actually when I first started coming was just over four years old. And when I’d go to the meeting on Sunday, Monday, the same people were there. All 14 of us. And I go to the meeting on Tuesday —same people. Wednesday—same people. Every night was the same people. And we were just holding on, we were scared shitless we were going to die. So we held on to each other and we talked about sick cats, we talked about the horrible roommate we had, we talked about our jobs, but we didn’t talk much about recovery about the steps. We just hold on to each other. Nobody knew how to do this thing until we started that men’s step study.
And we took it from the Friday night men’s step study. We moved it also to the Thursday men’s group where we’re using a big book. And then Saturday morning we had a big book study at Asbury Church and they came to me and said we need we need at least $10 a week. I said I can’t do that. There’s only three or four of us here every week. So I moved it to my house.
I asked Bonnie who was going to the meeting with me and a couple of guys I was sponsoring. This is after 45 days, home from recovering for 15 days. So I moved to my house. In the first meeting we had Saturday morning at my house there were three of us. There was Bonnie and John and myself. The next week there were 10. And we got to that there was 20. And the week after that there was 35. And the week after that we had to move it outside. And we talked about recovery. We read a passage from the big book and the discussion would take the rest of the day. And it was just phenomenal. And their hearts opened up and the honestly came out. And people just learned to love each other.
GINGER L: So to back up a little bit, did you ever get your 10 year chip from that guy that said he would give you a 10 year chip?
STEVE A: I did. I did. In fact, he was around to get in my 30 year chip.
GINGER L: That’s amazing.
STEVE A: Yeah. And I was still telling the truth then.
GINGER L: Who took you through the steps?
STEVE A: I had a sponsor by the name of John right after I got our treatment and John says to me, okay, I want you to do a fifth step. I said, I just did one. No, I want you to do one with me. I really balked at that but okay. So I did another fifth step. And we started working through the 5, 6, 7 and we got to eight and nine (steps). And he went out and got loaded. So I went looking for another one. And at that time, I just got started working with the 1990s CAWS World Convention, I was on the committee. And my sponsor was there. My new sponsor is there. And I asked Paul Fisher to be my sponsor. So I went through the steps about 24 times with Paul.
GINGER L: What was your CA home group?
STEVE A: The big book study.
GINGER L: What attracted you or kept you coming back to CA?
STEVE A: In May of 1989, CA Arizona turned five years old. And they had a five year birthday party. They held it at Eldorado Park in Scottsdale. And we had a band and we had a barbecue and a lot of fellowshipping. And then we had a meeting and this gal Vickie who had been at Camelback Hospital, when a doctor there said, would you write to CA Los Angeles and ask them for some sort of a kit starter meeting. And Vickie did that. And she came at five years sober and spoke. And I heard the message a hope. I heard the message of unconditional love. After the meeting everybody circle up, there’s about 100 of us, I’d say there are 100, you know, that’s like saying the first 100 wrote the big book. But we got in a circle and because CA hugs rather than hold hands. And I have to inject this too, Bonnie was in treatment when I went to her birthday party. And I was really missing her a lot. I got in a circle and everybody’s holding each other up. And I felt that sense of total belonging. At 46 years old, so late in time to find it, but I came away from that meeting and I was sold that this is where I had to be. This is how I had to be. I’m sober, its May and I’m only 72 days sober. But I started going to all of the service meetings, To Area, to District, to H&I, to PI, to entertainment. I mean, I was filling every night with that plus regular meetings because I wanted this thing to work for me.
GINGER L: How would you describe CA in those early days?
STEVE A: We’re floundering. We really were. We wanted to be able to hold together for a little longer just discussing mundane things and not pulling the blanket back. Not ripping a bandaid off and really getting into the crux of where the program lies and worrying how much it depends upon our trusting God and helping others, you know, that’s the only thing.
I was frightened for us because what I was watching was, I’d go to the regular meetings and people would be there with maybe nine months. And after they got it to a year, they went to AA.
And I kept saying, you guys can’t do that. I need you here. I need your experience on how you got that last 15 days, that last 90 days to get to that one year chip because that scares the shit out of me. And I talked to four or five of the people that are so around right now. Okay. And they do show up at CA events occasionally. They always answer my phone call because they know that I’m calling them about something with CA, which is really important. But I said, okay, I can’t ask them to do something that I won’t do. So I said, yeah, I’m going to have my AA. I still, I still at that time was going to some NA. And I said, my home is here and I need to maintain my home. And the only way I’m going to maintain it is if I’m active enough. The rest of the people, if they’re going to go off, they’re going to go off. But I tried to make the example. And at 34 years, I’m still doing that.
GINGER L: Do you remember the name of any other particular groups?
STEVE A: You mean the ones I haven’t mentioned? Yeah, there’s a little tiny meeting, “No More Rocks.” Oh, “Coconuts” every weekday. 12:15 pm. Great. I utilize that meeting a lot too.
GINGER L: What were the group sizes? Like how many people do you think were typically at any particular meetings?
STEVE A: The core of our whole fellowship is only like 15 or 20 people.
GINGER L: What were the meeting formats like?
STEVE A: They were different because we had a speaker meeting on Sunday. Sunday night we had a lead and a discussion. Monday, the “Coconut meeting” was always discussion. Monday night was a speaker. Tuesday night was a speaker. Wednesday was all discussion. Thursday was a men’s Big Book. Friday was a speaker. Saturday, as I said, SNL at one time was a speaker discussion. Our big book study was all discussion.
GINGER L: What were the meetings like? Besides anything else that comes up that you can think of that you haven’t already mentioned that the meetings were like?
STEVE A: We were the same nucleus of people. I look forward to Tuesday because I wanted to see the same people I saw on Monday. I’ve been at work, I’ve been away from them, I want to see them again. I went Thursday night. The guys would be there. Sometimes the guys would bring somebody else. Some newcomers would show up. And Saturday was always a surprise at the big book study because I didn’t know who was going to come in the door. But I looked forward to every day because that was my newfound life.
Friday nights was a real hard time for me because it used to be the Friday night I’d cash my check and I’d be gone. And so I would come home from work, Bonnie would still be working, until she went into treatment on the 22nd of May 1989. So between April 10th and 22nd of May (1989), she was working that I’d come home and I’d just cleaned up. I’d ride my bicycle down to Asbury to go to a 5:30 pm A.A. meeting. And then I’d be there and I’d go over to the townhouses downtown for the step study. And then I’d come back to Asbury for the “Torchlight.” I mean its midnight Friday and the night’s done and I’d stay sober. And I’d ride my bike back home and Bonnie would be home and we would start over again. And Saturday morning people would come to our house.
GINGER L: Do you know who started CA in the Arizona area and how?
STEVE A: There’s a doctor from Camelback Hospital, Mark P. and Vicky were more or less the people who did the leg work. Darci came in a little bit after that. They were the ones I go to to find out anything I’m still wondering about from the past.
GINGER L: Did you attend area or district meetings?
STEVE A: I did.
GINGER L: What were they like?
STEVE A: Give an addict a check for $2,000 and tell them to use it on literature or chips and then watch them fight for six months. But that’s who we were.
I’ll give you a little history on that. In 1988, Phoenix area was given the World Convention for 1990. Every fundraiser we had for two years went to World (CAWSO). Craig and Debbie F. and I were in the vault room of the Biltmore Hotel Sunday afternoon counting the cash. We counted out $47,000 in cash. We took it and sent it directly to World (CAWSO). And we were destitute. we couldn’t afford to buy a chip. The 7th Tradition wasn’t doing anything except paying rent. So at one of our district meetings I said, you know what, I’ve got a really good friend who’s a printer. I’m going to take thes flyers we’ve got, because we only have five six back then, I’ll take them over and I’ll have them use the same color and we’ll print them. And I know I can get them to do it for me for pennies on a dollar. So we did.
What are we going to do about keychains. I was at a hospital and somebody had a big book that had a bookmark in it that was laminated. Now we need that. It had all the names of pages of big book. I said, so why don’t we do one with all the pages where things are pertinent and we’ll do one for a newcomer and we’ll make it the same color of our keychains. And we’ll get that done a lot cheaper than 15 cents the keychains cost back then. So I did that.
And we started to get a little bit rolling. Now we’re so destitute. And we were having an H&I day out of the Safari Hotel in Scottsdale. And halfway through Friday night opening I get called outside and I go out there and here’s H. Lee who was the first Southwest Regional Trustee and Bob C. who was the World Service Office Trustee and two other people I don’t remember who they were. They they walked me around the ground to the hotel and explained to me about trademarks and about copyrights. I explained we were broke. We’ve gone out and we’re finding people to supply the big books. And H. Lee told me he says Steve it doesn’t make any difference God going to take care of you. But don’t do it again. You cannot do that. I said it’s okay do the bookmarks for H&I? Yeah because you can’t give your chips okay. Just don’t do the trademark things. And that was before they put the stamp (copyright symbol) on the keychain. About two weeks later we get a letter from World Services telling us that we’ve had an anonymous donation of $2,000 for chips and literature. To be spent completely on chips and literature. And that’s what I was talking about last year—six months we fought over what to do with that $2000. But we were growing and we were learning. And above all we were having fun doing it. Today I like a lot of it. There was a couple of times when people came over the tables you can’t do that. Oh god. My first trip to LA for the (World) Conference, a very good friend of mine who was a Trustee at that time, got so angry at some of the stuff he literally jumped over the Conference table and went after the guy on the side. We don’t understand what all these things are supposed to do. But we’re learning. That’s what it was like.
GINGER L: So just for more clarification. So if the money was for chips and literature what was the argument?
STEVE A: Big books.
GINGER L; Oh, what kind of literature?
STEVE A: Yeah and at that time like I say we had six pamphlets. But we’re developing new ones. A new high with H&I. We were based on H&I back then. We couldn’t afford them. No. Do we buy metal chips? No, no you got to buy the plastic ones. And for a while we were taking the plastic ones and taking the ring part off of it. So we’re taking in the jails of prison. And then we found out they’re sharpening them.
GINGER L: Did you hold any service positions?
STEVE A: A couple.
GINGER L: If so which ones?
STEVE A: I was GSR. I said big book was my home group but they were all my home group. I was GSR for “Big Book Study.” I was GSR for Thursday “Men’s Group.” I was GSR for “Way Off Base.” Then I was H&I. The Prison hospital, as a liaison I was H&I. I was as treasurer for six months for a District. When we were forming, we considered Phoenix to be all of Arizona. There were like 12 meetings and Tucson. And we just figured that part of us. So we called us the Area. I was elected to the chair, Area chair. And back then we had a steering committee but they were all individually elected. And I was elected like three years. And when I got ready to my last year I said we need to change that. We need to elect the steering committee and let the steering committee do a rotation to it. Because otherwise you’re going to get bored silly of me. I worked on every convention committee. I had many different chairs of that. I was elected to be the Chair of the 96th Convention. But in 1995 I was selected to be a Trustee for the Southwest Region. And when that happened I had to surrender all my other duties. Including my H&I meetings. It was pretty stringent. But they wanted us to act globally then rather than locally. I served on, actually I was the first full term Southwest Regional Trustee. Prior to me there was H. Lee who passed away. And there was a gal by the name of Jennifer who served a year. And then I came on and then afterwards we had Hal and he was there for a year. And we had Matthew from New Mexico and he was there for a year. I think there’s like two more before we had another full time one—full term. But yeah I got a lot of my joy out of service work.
GINGER L: So were you were a delegate at one poinT?
STEVE A: I was delegate at the same time as I was a chair of SVI (Sun Valley Intergroup). And at the same time as I was the HI and PI Chair. At the same time as I was a Vice Chair of the Convention. Once again you got to remember now our nucleus was growing, but it was still really small. We were still about 130 people.
GINGER L: What committees did you sit on at world?
STEVE A: H&I, PI, Convention. I did Conference. The TEC. And what’s the word for the one that was? Future planning.
GINGER L: Long term.
STEVE A: Long term planning. I was on that for four years.
GINGER L: How long did you do that?
STEVE A: Eons…It was 30 years ago.
GINGER L: What can you tell me about either the district or area that you haven’t already mentioned? About the development of it. The history.
STEVE A: We’ve had some hot and cold spells. I think that happens with all the areas. When I was a Trustee and I was visiting other parts of the region, I was trying to take what I saw work here to other places to help them.
I’m going to go back. While I was a delegate. We published our book. Our HFC came out. And I went to every one of the Delegates in our region and said, why don’t we all go back and sell this thing. And I’ll see whether or not we can get the truck that’s coming from Chicago to stop all the way out to Phoenix and deliver your cases. And we’ll see if we can get a break out of the shipping. Dollars, dollars, dollars. You know. I think we ended up ordering a gross case of books. That between Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, New Mexico, Colorado and us. With 20 books per…but most were here.
GINGER L: I know in the beginning it was 2 Districts. Arizona did things a little bit backwards from the rest of the world.
STEVE A: And we didn’t really consider each other a district. We both considered each other an Area. Tucson, thought themselves as being South Arizona. They had three delegates. We had three delegates. But that’s just how we did it. The conventions and the money that came out of conventions became a driving force. So how do we get to give Tucson their fair share? And we started meeting with them, pretty regularly that way. And as that went on, talk was, well, why don’t we just make us as an Area? And that took place. And now we’re back to being the other way.
GINGER L: Do you remember, do you know what the inception date was for the Arizona CA, the first meeting?
STEVE A: The first meeting?
GINGER L: Yeah, what day?
STEVE A: May. I wrote that down the other day. May 20th? 21st, 1984.
GINGER L: And do you know the name of the first meeting?
STEVE A: “Classic Coke.”
GINGER L: Any other early members that you haven’t mentioned already?
STEVE A: Joel was very large back then. Diane Dick.
STEVE A: Prior to 1988. Oh. Tony B.
STEVE A: Craig, uh, Fred K. Okay. Fred was the Chair of the 1990 Convention.
GINGER L: Were there any schisms or splits?
STEVE A: Big time. We had a good people that really wanted to talk about their inner self. They’re finding out why their inner child was so abandoned. They were the ones that still wanted to talk about their sick cat and not about what recovery would do for them.
STEVE A: And then there were the other guys who believed it was H&I or die. Okay. And it was a pretty hard draw line for probably three years, but we weren’t at each other’s throat, but we had nicknames for each other.
GINGER L: What were those nicknames?
STEVE A: “The Pods.” Which weren’t the guys doing the step work. And the guys that were in the book. They were the “Union Guys.”
GINGER L: Do you know who came up with those names?
STEVE A: I’ve got a couple clues. I have a lot of writings that that guy did and you know, it’s a damn good thing he didn’t have a job.
STEVE A: I want to tell you another story about that. When I got sober, I was still working with a friend of mine. The guy told me about 60 and 60 and 90 in 90. And eventually I priced myself out of his business. And so I had to go find a job. Bonnie was working at the airline. And I’m out. This is after she came back from treatment. And I’m out job hunting. And I’m three, four weeks out of work. And one day I went to a meeting up at “Crossroads,” an AA meeting as it was known. And my friend was there. And we went and had lunch afterwards. And came I home and that night, and Bonnie says to me, so what’d you do today? I said, well, I went over here for a job. I went over here for the job. I went over here for a job. And I went to a meeting up at Crossroads and she said, oh, and did you go have lunch with Craig. And I said, no. Why would I do that? Well, because he called and said that he had lunch with you. The next day, I didn’t say anything more that night about it. The next day, I had a job interview up in Prescott. They’re building a golf course up there and they wanted me to be the superintendent. So I drove in Prescott and I’m sitting outside of the way you go for the interview. And they finally called me in. And I said, you know what? I am so sorry. My brain is so messed up right now. I need to go home, take care of something. Well, it’s either your interview now or the job goes away. So I’m sorry, the job’s gonna have to go away. And I came down, I went over to where Bonnie’s working and she was in her cubicle. And I walked in, honey, I got to talk to you. She says, what? I said, I lied to you. I told you that I didn’t have lunch with Craig and I did. She says, well, I knew you did.
GINGER L: Do you know why you lied?
STEVE A: It’s just my life.
GINGER L: How did potential members find out about meetings?
STEVE A: Two seven nine three eight three eight. We’re on PSAs. I had one PSA, had a guy walking in the circle. He says, I do more coke so I can do more work. So I can do more coke. So I do more. I just go in a circle like this and power is just flying everywhere. But that was it. It’s a race track. We had PSA’s on buses. And H& I, we literally were in every treatment facility in the valley. And one of my jobs was to get us into every jail. So I got us into every jail and then I started getting us into the prisons. Now prisons was a little different thing because they, they may be a year, they may be five years, but planting the seed was what we’re doing. And they were doing it. They were, they were coming out and they were looking for CA because they saw what we were doing with our meetings. Same thing with the hospitals. They’re biggest one there produced more force than anywhere else was Maverick House. Now, and everybody went from there to No More Delusions. Fred and Leslie and I met at the Broom House. Doesn’t see the only place we could get. And we had the very first meeting. The four forty five right there.
GINGER L: Love it.
STEVE A: Look at what has come from there. That just “wow.” I saw Julia. Oh God. Who says this doesn’t work?
GINGER L: No one thought you could stay sober from the four forty five.
GINGER L: I wondered. We showed them.
STEVE A: I wonder about that, buddy. But they were just like us. They, wanted to live life out, but they also knew that they need each other. Well, and you needed to call. Boom. You got it.
GINGER L: What was the social climate around CA meetings at that time?
STEVE A: It was a, I think it was an interesting time because we were, we were intent on it working. The newcomer was the most important person we had there. When the meeting was going on, the attention was focused that way. We even, in our home groups, we talked about, listen, 20 minutes of talking can’t be “war stories” because when we do that, the hospitals don’t want us back. They don’t want us to come in there and spoil the work that they’re doing. So we have to start here. Okay. And we got to focus on the guy who was just walked into the room. Don’t take pictures. You know, pay attention, put some money in the basket, lead by example. Do the things that are necessary to make those 12 steps work. And those 12 traditions, learn how to live with those. Make them happen in your meeting and that’s where you want.
GINGER L: How did you attract new members?
STEVE A: By attraction, literally, you know. God, we had so many 12 step calls. And a lot of it was Bicycle Jay. We used to ride his bicycle to all the meetings. I had to get his loss of license for nine years. He drives a limo now. But. I saw Jay at a bus stop, Camelback and 15th Avenue. And he was really shook up because he just hit somebody with his bike. But he’s loaded, “meth” that it. Said, you can’t with me. So we loaded up with bike in my truck and went to Asbury. Okay. Things like that. We went to a lot of motels, Motel 6. We did a lot of dumb shit. Now we broke through doors. And broke up needles. So we could have gone to jail just for being there. But we did that, just trying to help these people.
GINGER L: How did CA conduct a business in the beginning?
STEVE A: Cash. We didn’t know how. If you ordered anything from World, it was a check. And they waited for the check before they sent stuff over. COD. Oh, it’s even before COD. Cash on ordering.
GINGER L: Did you find the World Service Office? Did they find you?
STEVE A: I actually found the office. I found a guy by the name of Dave, he was part-time as everything was over there. And I talked to him one day on the phone, long distance. And I asked him to come over and visit with us. So he took a drive over one weekend. And he visited us. We learned a lot about what they (CAWSO) were up against.
GINGER L: How did meetings change after contact with World Services?
STEVE A: I don’t think they did.
GINGER L: Do you remember any of the early Delegates? We already named the Trustees, so any of the early Delegates?
STEVE A: Burton, Diane, John F, Darci, Mark
GINGER L: What do you remember about them?
STEVE A: They were consistent. They did what they said they were going to do.
GINGER L: Was there any relationship with AA in those early days? If so, what was that like?
STEVE A: Yeah, as a Delegate, I wrote to A.A. many times and asked about things that we need to know how to do it here. What could be considered a donation by a member or by a member who worked for somebody? How do we get the big books? What’s the difference between this little red book we’re seeing and the little big book? They were brand new then. Actually, the little red book came out so that they started marketing the little blue book. And I sponsored a guy who ended up being a Delegate for AA. So…
GINGER L: Who else that you haven’t already mentioned was going to see a meetings in those early days? Can you think of anyone else that you haven’t already mentioned that was going to meetings in the early days?
STEVE A: His name is George. And George was a blacksmith in Scottsdale. So I used to sell the dope to him. Early days, they were there just before me, were Pat and Craig and Adrian and Ken and Betty and Diana. Fred. Oh, there’s Peter. Pete, the pawn shop guy. And Brof.
GINGER L: What literature was read in early CA meetings?
STEVE A: We did “How It Works.” We did 12 Traditions. We hadn’t started doing “Who Was An Addict” yet. Oh, there’s another one that I remember, his name is Bobby and he would memorize “A Vision For You.” And they would always call on Bobby at the end of the meeting to recite “A Vision For You.” And “The Promises.” And there was… at our step study on Friday night, we were close with a reading from the book. So there are lots of those of came out of it.
GINGER L: What was your reaction to hearing “Who is a Cocaine Addict” for the first time?
STEVE A: I thought everyone was reading it like a prayer. I really did. And the first time that I did “Who is a Cocaine Addict.” Then when I started hearing the chats, I had an instant reaction. That’s a prayer. But as time went I realized hey they’d learn how to have fun. This is not about being dead, this is about having fun. I go to meetings and they say, please do not chant. And I would whisper, “Say it softly.”
GINGER L: What’s your favorite CA reading?
STEVE A: Reaching out.
GINGER L: Where was the first CA convention you attended?
STEVE A: 1990, Biltmore.
GINGER L: World.
STEVE A: I was on security with Joel.
GINGER L: With Joel? Yeah. Oh my goodness.
STEVE A: And Steve B was the Hospitality Chair. And the day before the convention, he resigned. And so they put me on hospitality and I was also on security. I had a microphone and ear plugs and black shirts. I hit out a lot, but I was vocal. So a lot of people came up, hey, where’s this?
GINGER L: In those early days, did you attend any other CA events, like Unity Day events, dances, talent shows? If so, what do you remember about them?
STEVE A: We used to hold the dances once a month at the electrician’s hall. They had bingo at the electrician’s hall. We had a lot of talent shows. We had dream date shows. I’ll tell you a story about a dream date.
STEVE A: I took a job finally, but it didn’t pay very much. And I had a whole lot of financial amends to make. And so we were rubbing nickels, if we had them. But at this one dream date, this guy had just gotten sober and was from Juneau Alaska and he had a charter fishing company and his boat was “fish-a-holic.” And it came up for auction. And I bid on it when I shouldn’t have. And, and this guy, uh, Raoul wanted it. And I was glad because I didn’t get it. And I didn’t have to tell her I spent money I didn’t have. About five months later, he came up to me and he says, I’ve got to go back to prison. I said, Oh, sorry to hear that. He said, I can’t use the trip. Will you take it? I said, Oh, I don’t have money. He says, I just want to give it to you. So I called my dad. My dad, my dad had been a fisherman since I can remember. He always had a dream of fishing in Alaska. So I said, Dad, you want to go fishing in Alaska? And I took my dad up there. And the first day we went out the boat, we’re going out to the end of the point. We got sea otters in front of the boat. By the way, John, the guy that owned the company, his family put us up in their home. To have those treated like royalty. It was great. But we’re getting out past the point the otters disappeared, but I see seals. But they’re all on a rock. And there’s bald eagles flying overhead. And we get out by the rock. The reason the seals are on the rock, because the orcas are swimming around, waiting for one of them. Now, so we do that. We did our in-the-inward passage. We bait up. Dad throws his line in. And I watched him 45 minutes landing that fish. It was a 50 pound king salmon. My dad was 110 pounds, dripping wet. And he worked his fanny off. He was 72 years old when this happened. He got that fish in the boat. And I said, Dad, that is so great. And I’m using this time also to talk to him about my amends. I said, Dad, let’s get it on the hook. So I’m taking the hook out. Bait up, Dad, he said, no. He said, nothing’s going to beat that. I said, Dad, I’m an addict. There’s always something better. Come on. No, not going to. So he sat there and watched me fish for the rest of the day. That’s a dream date story.
GINGER L: Do you have any other events you want to talk about, talent shows or anything like that? Any other events that you want to talk about?
STEVE A: I’m at the World Convention in Salt Lake City (1995). And I’ve had an interview for Trustee. And Debbie comes walking up to me and says, how would you like to be part of the board Steve? I didn’t know how I was going to do that. I didn’t know. All I knew is that I do whatever I could. And when I was introduced to the board, I told everyone of mine, you guys, you’re a lawyer, you’re a lawyer, you’re an accountant, you run a business. You know what I know how to do? I know how to work. Okay. Let me do the work. And let’s just see what we can do with this board.
GINGER L: Were there any memorable controversies?
STEVE A: Yeah. We’re destitute and World spends $25,000 on a PR firm. One of my friends still believes when we came up with the saying, “We’re Here and We’re Free”…that it should also say, “but nobody knows where we are.” But there was a lot of controversy over that. We didn’t have any money. We had no business spending that $25,000.
GINGER L: What did the PR firm do? Did they come up with that slogan or?
STEVE A: No, but they helped us to understand how important PSAs were.
GINGER L: Did this help or hinder the growth of CA?
STEVE A: What it did for us here is to have kept us from getting a controversial situation with our money. And we also learned that we don’t need money. We have way too much money in our prudent reserve. And back then, $700 was our prudent reserve and that was too much money. God saw fit to keep us going no matter what, when we had to go out and bring trademark rules. But that’s what it is. Trust God, saying how to help others.
GINGER L: Any other memorable controversies?
STEVE A: Yeah, we’ve had some. Difference of an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. Alcoholics will steal your money and run. Cocaine addict goes steal your money and ask you if you can help your mind it. And we had those. We had the 1990 Convention, the Chair absconded with over $5,000. We had a guy come in town and impress the shit out of everybody by telling everybody he had 14 years of sobriety, nobody knew that, we didn’t know where he came from. But because he said he had 14 years and everybody trusts him, just what did we do, we made him Treasurer. And he went away in $12,000. We’ve had, I think five different treasures who have absconded with funds. Money, money, money, money, which is crazy. The worst part about it is the people that stole it, are the ones that got hurt the most because most of them didn’t make it back. The rest of us were still doing okay. Once again, we don’t need money. The other big controversy and this is mine. We spend way too much money for banquets and conventions. It’s time for us to follow a suit, get a meeting hall, arrange for hotels around the meeting hall, have a big dinner that we cook. Food and beverage is just ridiculous for our conventions. We need to start looking at what AA does.
GINGER L: What’s the most fun you ever had in CA?
STEVE A: Talent show. A gal by the name of Julie and I dressed up in frog (swim) fins and frog hat. We dyed our face green and we did what we’re known as Sir Noble ballet. We got to laugh at ourselves so hard. That was at the Crossroads. Remember that? We actually danced with swim fins on.
GINGER L: What are some of your most memorable moments in those early days of CA?
STEVE A: My first grandson was born a month before I turned one and I got to hold him. On my one year anniversary at “Way Off Base” when I got to tell my story. I held him the whole time. He’s never seen me loaded nor have any of the other 17.
GINGER L: What growing pains did your area experience?
STEVE A: We tried to move up into northern California. Northern Arizona. We tried to reestablish and work toward getting Casa Grande to be a place to tie Tucson together. There are things like that happen and we’re talking about people who have never completed anything in their life. The only thing they’ve ever finished is better joints. They tried to put together something that is going to be a lifetime and it’s hard.
GINGER L: Can you think of any shortcomings of CA in those days?
STEVE A: Yeah, we didn’t have enough patience.
GINGER L: In the early days what do you think CA did right?
STEVE A: We stuck our hand out and we stuck our hand out and we stuck our hand out and we stuck our hand out. Sometimes we got hurt by sticking our hand out but we kept doing this.
GINGER L: What mistakes were made?
STEVE A: Well, like I said, we trusted people because we trust. We learned how to trust and sometimes we get hurt.
GINGER L: What do you think that you did right?
STEVE A: I said I was going to stick around and I did.
GINGER L: What would you do differently?
STEVE A: I might have worked a little harder on the board towards the international school. We were still based completely in this continent.
GINGER L: Were there any particular difficulties that you encountered?
STEVE A: Personal or recovery wise.
GINGER L: In relation to CA somehow.
STEVE A: So I’m at my third conference and I’ve been doing the liaison work for the H&I committee there to bring back here. Our H&I Chair at that time was Susan T. I’m saying, okay, you’re getting ready to elect a chair for that committee and I think that I’m probably the best qualified for it because the way that we made things work here. I come back from the conference and I go to a meeting and Craig and I were talking and he says, well, they just asked me to be the chair.
GINGER L: That hurt.
STEVE A: That hurt and I told him. I said, you know, I’ve been one that’s been over there. Eventually I was glad he was doing it.
GINGER L: What are your thoughts about how CA has developed over the years?
STEVE A: It’s all in God’s hands. It’s going exactly the way it was supposed to grow. I think that I’ve had a hand in some of it and I think that it’s helped me.
GINGER L: Do you still attend CA meetings? If so, why?
STEVE A: Because that’s where I get my juice. And its Bonnie’s and my date night.
GINGER L: Do you have any CA service commitments now? What?
STEVE A: I believe that I am the archive chair for the 2025 Area World Convention. I am an Outreach Chair for the 2024 Area.
GINGER L: What area of service interests you the most?
STEVE A: Working with others.
GINGER L: Is the fellowship different now? If so, how?
STEVE A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Most things. You know, mass media has just taken over. Now, I had to have a talk with our home group last week about speakers. Once again, you need to remember that the newcomer is going to go to sleep if you talk more. But one of the things I said is to clue that you’re talking too much about what it was like. Is when you look at the first two rows of your audience and they’re on their phones. It’s time for you to get off of it. That’s a big thing.
Mass media has got a great tool that can do wonders for things. It helped with our outreach for the last convention. It can help with a lot of things. But we went to a coral concert the other night for one of our neighbors. The teacher walks out, and she started to read some stuff off of her iPad. And she reaches into her own pocket and pulls out her phone. And she talks over here. Meanwhile, the kids have started singing the song and she’s over doing this and doing that. Then she comes back over in front and she turns around, facing the audience and flipping her hair and doing a selfie. And then she walks back over to the side where two of the coral girls walk over and go. There’s a message. The audience went nuts. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I’d like to do that at our CA meetings. We don’t have any doctors there. We’ve got nobody that absolutely needs to have that phone. Turn off your “portable fax machine.”
GINGER L: Has the torch been passed?
STEVE A: Yes.
GINGER L: What would you say to today’s trusted servants?
STEVE A: Thank you for your service.
GINGER L: How would you like to be remembered in CA?
STEVE A: As a member. As a member that loved the power fit so much. That I couldn’t give enough to it.
GINGER L: What CA service work gave you the most satisfaction?
STEVE A: Getting the very first Cocaine Anonymous meeting into a federal penitentiary.
GINGER L: What are you doing to make CA be a better fellowship today?
STEVE A: Just my example. And all the guys I sponsor, that’s what I talk to them about all the time.
GINGER L: What could be done to make CA a better fellowship?
STEVE A: Less emphasis on money and more emphasis on helping.
GINGER L: Is there anything else you’d like to say about Cocaine Anonymous?
STEVE A: I love it. I do. I’m indebted for the lights that I have. Now Bonnie and I were that close to not being a couple anymore, 34 years ago. Okay. And we’re 50 years together. Everything that I am today. Literally. Everything that I am today. And I try to express this to my kids because they’re afraid to talk to me about they’re drinking. But everything I am today is because of stuff I learned right here. It’s all good.
GINGER L: Well Steve I want to thank you for your time today. On behalf of the World Service Conference Archive Committee and our World Wide Fellowship. Thank you for your time and your service.
STEVE A: Thank you Ginger. Thanks for asking me to do this. Yes.
GINGER L: I love you.